I Won't Waste A Minute Without You
by Pesky kitten
Summary: Edward visits Bella. Oneshot.


He walked through the forest, letting the leaves and branches from the trees brush against his marble face. It didn't matter much, he paid no attention to the sharp jagged scrapes; after all he was numb. He felt the ground beneath him lower every time he took a step, every time his heart cried out to him, screaming inside his swollen chest. The clouds hovered over him, as if a reminder of the desolate life he would forever lead, the one without love, passion, happiness. He looked back to a time when happiness enveloped him everyday, and although it was more dangerous a situation than he could have ever imagined, at least those were the happiest days of his life. The ones he cherished above all. But looking up into those clouds, he knew as much as he fought it, the sunshine would never warm his cold skin again, not anymore.

He walked passed the world, looking at everything in his view, yet truly seeing nothing. It seemed these days he only saw one thing for it was constant in his mind, haunting him in the most pleasurable yet excruciatingly painful way. Touching the damp nature around him, he tried to block out the memories he kept locked away inside of his heart that he so treasured. To a time where he thought he could truly feel the beat of his heart, as opposed to now where a gaping whole inside himself lay still within his hollow chest for quite some time now, the beat dying out long ago. Someone special carried it along with them, just as he left it to her.

_All this feels strange and untrue_

_And I won't waste a minute without you_

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold_

_And I'm getting so tired and so old_

He knew she kept it, held on to it as long as she could. Even now it didn't come back to him, inside he knew it never would. Nor did he ever want it back. It was hers to keep, "_until the end of time"_ he would say.

So now he walks, searching for the heart she holds in her hands. Searching for the girl who would forever be burned into his memory, the girl he gave his entire self for, the girl he left loving.

Bella.

He knelt down on the grass, looking down at the blades that hit his knees as the wind encircled around him. He lay himself next to her, the same cold stone like figure as she herself was now.

"Bella" he whispered. Looking down at her with sorrowful eyes. She said nothing; silent and still.

"I wish I could tell you how much I love you. I wish you knew why I left and what it did to me. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry for every ounce of pain you felt, for I felt it too. I'm sorry for the lonely nights you endured crying alone in your bedroom, for I did the same. I can't explain in proper words what you mean to me, because I fear they do not exist. You are my whole heart, Bella. Without you I am nothing, and I hope even now you can forgive me. Forgive me for what I have done to you, for the mistakes I have made, for the monster I truly am."

_The anger swells in my guts_

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts_

_I want so much to open your eyes_

_'Cause I need you to look into mine_

"I remember when you believed in me, trusted me. You saw passed my pretenses, that barrier I had set for myself that not even I knew I had built up. And what have I done to you? What did I do to deserve what little time we spent together. I always told you I didn't deserve you, Bella. And it's true, even now."

Motionless, still she lay.

"I only wish you knew the truth. That my love for you will never die no matter what false words I may have bestowed upon you. I will love you for eternity. In life and death you will always carry my heart and I shall always carry yours. A love such as ours cannot be separated or forgotten. I have not forgotten about you, how could I? You lit up my world, brought sunlight to it that I never knew possible. I can't live without you Bella. Do you understand that?"

No response. There never was, and as long as he sat there, as long as he prayed and begged, there never would be. He stared down at her, anger reaching his perfect features

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

"Why did you have to leave? Why? I never wanted this, I never intended for this to happen!"

He broke down in heaving sobs, pounding his fists on the soft grass that lay peacefully before him

"It was never meant to turn out like this. I was returning to you! Why couldn't I have got there on time! Why, Bella?! Tell me why you didn't fight. I know you, I know the insides and outs of every aspect of your soul, you could have fought! You are the strongest person I know! Why did you want to leave me!? What do I have left without you! Nothing! You were my everything, and now you're gone!"

"You're gone" he whispered. "Because of me".

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars_

_'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire_

_Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine_

_And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time_

The wind blew in all directions around him, his body laying still as the minutes blended in to hours. Time was no longer an obstacle for him. This was life without her, a vast pool of emptiness that clawed away at his insides begging to feel anything, any emotion at all. His mind was set long ago as he carefully placed the assortment of flowers on her grave just as he did each and everyday. He brushed his cool fingers against the hard tombstone under which she lay, dry sobs taking over his body, making him hunch over in pain as he felt himself being torn into shreds. Surely death was better than this. Every time he thought her name, saw any reminder of her, remembered a memory from his darkened past he felt the shooting pain erupt within him again and again. A vicious cycle he had created himself.

"I love you, Bella. Please know that. I'm going to fix this." He whispered, coming to a stand.

"I love you enough to die for you. To be with you once more."

_Every minute from this minute now_

_We can do what we like anywhere_

_I want so much to open your eyes_

_'Cause I need you to look into mine_

With that he kissed her tombstone, as if kissing her forehead one last time. And as his hollow footsteps carried him outside of that forest in which he came he felt a smile tug on his lips for the first time in what seemed to be forever.

A whole hearted smile. One not forced or recreated. He would see her again soon. One short trip to Italy and their pain would cease.

He turned back to look at this world one last time, his eyes caught the tombstones set together. There he lay, after over a century. Directly next to his love. Just as it should be.

**Rest In Peace Edward Anthony Mason Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan: Bound by love for eternity, even in death.**

_All this feels strange and untrue_

_And I won't waste a minute without you_

**A/N: Did you guys get it? I know it was a bit confusing. When he was "lying" next to her it was his tombstone that he placed there. So they could be together in death. She is dead by the way. Incase you didn't get it, it was rather confusing. Sorry for that. Hate it? Love it? Please never write serious stories again? PLEASE REVIEW!! Tell me what you think!**


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